When Goals Aren’t Enough
The beginning of the year is almost always linked to one thing: goals.
We’re encouraged to set New Year’s resolutions, define targets, and map out what we want to achieve in the months ahead. And often, we do achieve them. We hit milestones. We check boxes. We make progress.
And yet, for many people, something still feels missing.
That quiet emptiness—even after goals are met—isn’t talked about very much.
When we talk about goals, the most familiar framework we’re given is SMART: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound. These characteristics help clarify how a goal should be set. They’re useful. They give structure.
But they don’t address something more fundamental.
There are different types of goals, and not all of them shape a meaningful life in the same way.
This distinction often comes up in the personal development programs and trainings I’ve facilitated over the years. Again and again, the same pattern emerges: people are clear about what they want to achieve, but less clear about what they want their lives to stand for.
One type of goal we frequently talk about in these sessions is extrinsic goals.
These are goals driven by external outcomes—titles, income, recognition, achievements, validation. They are visible, measurable, and often rewarded by society. Most of us are very familiar with these, because they’re the ones we’re taught to prioritize.
Extrinsic goals are not wrong.
They help us build stability, competence, and direction.
But they’re not the whole story.
Another type of goal—one that often surfaces more quietly in reflection exercises—is intrinsic goals.
Intrinsic goals are guided by internal values rather than external rewards. They are about growth, meaning, connection, integrity, contribution, and how we want our lives to feel, not just how they look. They’re harder to measure, rarely urgent, and easy to postpone.
In many workshops, when participants begin to articulate their intrinsic goals, the energy in the room shifts. The conversation slows. People speak more carefully. These are the goals that tend to stay with us long after a session ends.
Yet many of us never formally set them.
We work hard at what we do, but rarely pause to ask:
What kind of person am I becoming through all this effort?
What am I nurturing in my life beyond my job?
What gives me meaning that isn’t tied to performance?
This is where After Fiveish comes in.
Living beyond your eight-hour job doesn’t mean abandoning ambition or dismissing work. It means recognizing that work alone cannot carry the deeper questions of purpose and identity.
Goals can move us forward—but purpose gives us something to move toward.
As this year unfolds, perhaps the question isn’t only What do I want to achieve?
But also: What do I want to grow into?
That question doesn’t demand immediate answers.
It simply asks for attention.
And sometimes, that’s where a more meaningful life begins.